Sometimes it's the little things, stuff they once overlooked, that get their attention.
Like the cardinal hopping along the roadway, just a few feet in front of them.
Or a beautiful, scrubbed-sky morning.
"Simple things in nature do it for me," says Sherry Tucker of Valrico.
For Tucker and her husband, Dirk, those are tangible reminders of
Zach, their blond-haired, hazel-eyed son with the constant, beaming
smile, who died May 9, 2006.
It happened too soon, too fast.
Zach was two days shy of his 8th birthday when he was diagnosed with
glioblastoma multiforme - a Level 4 tumor, considered an extremely
aggressive and rare form of cancer for a child.
A few weeks before the diagnosis, the Tuckers had what they thought
a perfect life - a beautiful 10-year-old daughter named Lexi, their
handsome Zach, a sprawling suburban home, a cat and a healthy marriage
of 23 years. They both had good jobs and a busy family life, with
soccer games, swim meets and guitar lessons.
Cancer isn't supposed to happen when so much is going so well.
Sherry noticed it first. Her sports-loving son started having
trouble riding his bike. He stopped using his left hand. And when he
smiled, his grin was lopsided. At the walk-in clinic, the doctor
thought it was something temporary, such as radial palsy, from pinching
a nerve.
Weeks passed. She got an appointment with a pediatric neurologist.
Words can change everything. When a doctor tells you that the MRI
results show a brain tumor on the right side of your son's face, a
once-tidy world tumbles upside down. Thus began a journey that would
include surgery and 33 rounds of radiation and chemotherapy treatment.
Thirteen months is the average prognosis. Like all parents, Sherry and Dirk knew their son was special. He would beat the odds.
Zach faced his battle with a lot of courage. He stayed optimistic. He never stopped smiling. But he only made it for 10 months.
Life events like this can be marriage-killers. Grieving parents
often don't survive the pain of losing a child so young. But the
Tuckers channeled their sorrow into a legacy for their son that is
having a far-reaching impact.
In February 2007, they started the Giving Hope Through Faith
Foundation, aimed at helping families going through cancer by sending
care packages once a month for a year. The packages typically contain
about $100 worth of goodies: gift cards, movie passes, restaurant
certificates and an inspirational message on a different topic each
month.
The Tuckers say they will never forget the outpouring of love and
support they got from family, friends and even strangers when they
battled cancer with Zach. This gesture helps them give back - and keep
their son's memory alive. Dirk says it's like sending a big smile in
the mail.
So far, more than 60 families have been helped by the foundation,
which has raised more than $100,000 through the Zach Tucker Golf
Scramble fundraiser and Zachary's Stocking, a gift card drive to fill
stockings for children at Christmas. Karen Kotsovolos, whose 8-year-old
son, Demetri, has leukemia, calls the monthly package divine
intervention.
"It always seemed to come just when I was feeling my lowest," says
the Clearwater third-grade teacher. "The gift cards were a godsend, but
even more important, those inspirational letters were beautiful. I
think my husband was struggling with his faith, but her words helped
bring him back closer to God."
Another recipient, Anissa Mayhew, whose 4-year-old daughter, Peyton,
also has leukemia, says you can't avoid all the emotional ups and downs
that come with helping your child fight a serious disease. She has
learned that if she can handle this, she can handle anything.
"As horrible as it is when you get news like this, there are some
amazing blessings that come out if it," says Mayhew, a Brandon mother
of three. "Getting this monthly care package was one of them."
Dealing with a medical crisis is not only emotional, it's
financially devastating as well. Some families have to give up luxuries
such as dining out or an evening at the movies. The foundation's care
package makes it possible to feel normal again.
For the siblings of the patients, Sherry and Lexi put together bags
with fun stuff: wigs, toys, Silly String, games. "Cancer affects
everyone," Sherry says, "and siblings end up feeling left out. So much
attention has to be directed on the patient. So we try to give them
something to feel special again."
Mayhew's favorite part of the packages was the inspirational Scripture and reflections that Sherry tucked inside.
"She has a natural ability to uplift you," Mayhew says. "Her writing is beautiful."
Writing a journal helped Sherry get through her darkest days. From
the moment she got the news about her son, she carried a notebook and
pen, capturing her thoughts at the most raw and painful moments. She
chronicled the medical journey, the fear of the unknown, the desperate
race against time, the Scriptures she leaned on.
In August, her account was published. "Unfinished Love: Walking by
Faith Through Pediatric Cancer" (VMI, $14.99) will make you cry and it
will make you laugh. But her most important goal was to show how her
family was transformed by the experience, and how God can use a tragic
and unimaginable circumstance to bring about good.
Zach is still very much with them. They see him in the families
touched by the foundation, they see him in his young friends, who set
up lemonade stands to raise money for the foundation. They see him in
the cardinals that come to their garden and the beautiful days when
Zach played outside.
They will always have a hole in their hearts where their son went
missing. They did not get the miracle they prayed for, but they are
finding ways to create small miracles for other families.
"Zach got his healing somewhere else. He got it in heaven," Dirk says. "And he's still making a big impact right here on Earth."
